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Όπως κάθε πατέρας θα έρθει κάποια στιγμή που θα πρέπει να αντιμετωπίσετε τη γνωστή ερώτηση του γιου σας:

 

«Μπαμπά… πώς ήρθα στον κόσμο;»

 

Σαφώς ο γιόκας σας θα είναι πολύ μικρός να καταλάβει την πραγματική διαδικασία… και από την άλλη η εκδοχή με τις μελισσούλες, τα λουλουδάκια

και τους πελαργούς δεν είναι πια τις μόδας. Γι' αυτό υιοθετείστε μια πιο μοντέρνα εκδοχή…

 

Εκδοχή 2008:

«Γιε μου γνώρισα τη μητέρα σου κάνοντας chat στο internet…

και δώσαμε ραντεβού σε ένα cyber-café…

όπου λίγο αργότερα μέσα στις τουαλέτες…

κάναμε μια σύνδεση στο ίδιο δίκτυο…

η μαμά έκανε μερικά downloads με το memory stick του μπαμπά…

αλλά πριν ο μπαμπάς προλάβει να κάνει upload…

αντιληφθήκαμε ότι δεν είχαμε εγκαταστήσει firewall…

και πλέον ήταν πολύ αργά να πατήσω το delete ή το cancel…

και έτσι 9 μήνες αργότερα βρεθήκαμε με ιό».

 

xa0xa0AX0xa0ax0Xaaaaaaaaaa

 

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Η 19 χρονη κόρη ομολογεί στον πατέρα της ότι είναι έγκυος...

Φωνές, κακό, και μετά από λίγο ξύλο ο μπαμπάς συμφωνεί να δει τον ένοχο για την εγκυμοσύνη να συζητήσουν την κατάσταση.

Το Σάββατο το απόγευμα, στημένος ο πατέρας στο παράθυρο, περιμένει τον προκομμένο να έρθει... οπότε σε κάποια φάση βλέπει μια Ferrari να στρίβει από τη γωνία, να σταματά μπρός στο σπίτι, και από μέσα να βγαίνει ένα κουστουμαρισμένος νεος με ρολόι, γυαλιά, και ό,τι άλλο αξεσουάρ σινιέ και πανάκριβο. Μπαίνει στο σπίτι ο νέος, του βάζουν ποτό, και ξεκινά η κουβέντα...

- Ακούστε κύριε (λέει ο νέος), για γάμο δεν γίνεται κουβέντα με τίποτε...

- Μα...

- ...όμως, αν το παιδί είναι αγόρι, του δίνω δύο εργοστάσιά μου, ένα στην Πάτρα (ελαστικών αυτοκινήτων) και ένα στην Λάρισα, υδροηλεκτρικό. Του δίνω, επίσης, τρείς πολυκατοικίες στο Κολωνάκι για τα νοίκια, δύο εξοχικά στη Μύκονο, τρία εξοχικά στην Κρήτη, και μια θαλαμηγό...

 

Αν είναι κορίτσι, βέβαια, δεν μπορώ να δώσω τα εργοστάσια, γιατί πώς θα τα δούλεύει... αλλά τα αντικαθιστώ με δέκα πολυκατοικίες στα βόρεια προάστεια, και κάμποσα άλλα ακίνητα για προίκα...

 

Αν τώρα η κοπέλα αποβάλει...

οπότε τον διακόπτει ο πατέρας:

- Αν αποβάλει... στην φέρνουμε και την ξαναπηδάς!!!

 

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μια λευκή τα είχε για κάποιο διάστημα με έναν μαύρο, οπότε αυτός (εύλογα) της ζήτησε να ολοκληρώσουν τη σχέση τους.

- αποκλείεται, φοβάμαι.

- μα ντεν υπάργκει κίντυνος αγκάπη μου. τα είμαι προσεκτικός πολύ!

- όχι όχι, εσείς οι μαύροι την έχετε πολυ μεγάλη, και θα μου κάνεις κακό.

- εγκό όχι μεγάλη, αγκάπη μου, εγκό κανονική, όπως λευκοί!

- αποκλείεται σου λέω! αν επιμένεις, μπορώ να σου κάνω πίπα, αλλά μόνο αυτό.

- καλά, άστο. αν είναι μόνο γκια πίπα, κάνω και μόνος μου...

 

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> Ρωτάει ο Αγγλος τον Γερµανό:

>

> - Πήρατε αύξηση φέτος;

> - Πήραµε!

> - Και τι τα έκανες;

> - Ε να, αγόρασα

ένα σπίτι στις

> άλπεις.

> - Και τα υπόλοιπα;

> - Με τα υπόλοιπα αγόρασα µια Porche

> 911 Carrera.

> Ρωτάει ο Γερµανός τον Γάλλο:

> - Πήρατε αύξηση φέτος;

> - Πήραµε!

> - Και τι τα έκανες;

> - Ε να, αγόρασα για την κόρη µου

> ένα διαµέρισµα στις Κάννες.

> - Και τα υπόλοιπα;

> - Με τα υπόλοιπα αγόρασα ένα Audi A6

> Avant.

> Ρωτάει ο Γάλλος τον Έλληνα:

> - Πήρατε αύξηση φέτος;

> - Πήραµε!

> - Και τι τα έκανες;

> - Ε να, αγόρασα ένα παπάκι 125 cc.

> - Και τα υπόλοιπα;

> - Τα υπόλοιπα τα εßαλε η µάνα µου!

 

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ξυπνάει το πρωί ο γκουσγκούνας κι ύστερα από μια νύχτα οργίων με μια γκόμενα πάει και βάζει τον σούτσο του πάνω στη σόμπα. ξυπνάει λοιπόν η γκόμενα και μόλις βλέπει τον γκουσγκούνα φωνάζει έντρομη:

- καλέ κώστα μου τι κάνεις εκεί έχεις τρελαθεί τελείως;

και ο γκουσγκούνης απαντά:

- δε φτάνει μωρή πουτ@να που σου ζεσταίνω το πρωινό φωνάζεις κι όλας!

 

XA0xa0x-xa0xa

 

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Mία ξανθιά οδηγεί το αυτοκίνητό της και την σταματάει μία τροχονόμος, επίσης ξανθιά.

- το δίπλωμά σας παρακαλώ, της λέει η τροχονόμος.

η ξανθιά οδηγός σαστισμένη, αρχίζει να ψάχνει στην τσάντα της και ρωτά την τροχονόμο.

- πώς είναι αυτό το δίπλωμα; δεν το βρίσκω.

- είναι ροζ, τετράγωνο και έχει την φωτογραφία σας επάνω, της αποκρίνεται η ξανθιά τροχονόμος.

η ξανθιά οδηγός ξανακοιτάει την τσάντα της και βγάζει ένα τετράγωνο ροζ καθρεφτάκι και κοιτάζεται καλά καλά σε αυτό.

- ορίστε το δίπλωμά μου λέει και το δίνει στην τροχονόμο.

η τροχονόμος το παίρνει, κοιτάζεται καλά καλά σε αυτό, της το ξαναδίνει πίσω και της λέει..

- μπορείτε να φύγετε, δεν ήξερα ότι είστε αστυνομικός!!

 

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Posted

Gamise eidika auto

και πλέον ήταν πολύ αργά να πατήσω το delete ή το cancel…

και έτσι 9 μήνες αργότερα βρεθήκαμε με ιό».

 

x0axa0xa00xa00xa

Posted

 

Dn 8a ekplagw an to evgales esu..

 

Asteie >.> :P

 

Exw k alles douleies na kanw apo to na grafw anekdota huh ^^

Posted

written by ??

tzitzo-anakalypseis

olo kai apo kapou 8a to ksetrypwse.

κάναμε μια σύνδεση στο ίδιο δίκτυο…
^^

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    • isnt his i also find it on l2ketrawars  https://imgur.com/a/4BMldRQ someone lock the topic ,solved!
    • You might also take https://github.com/vercel-labs/agent-skills into consideration
    • Hay Algun datapack de L1 OFF ? 
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