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  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

What does Madeleine McCann and a submarine have in common?

Their both lying at the bottom of the sea and full of seamen

 

hide it cos its 16 ++ =P

 

if is it 2 much just pm and i take it off XD

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I just google "best jokes ever" and I found the "86 world's best jokes", if you guys are interested.

 

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

 

Source: http://www.tallrite.com/LightRelief/worldsbestjokes.htm

Posted

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

 

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

 

 

if thats the best joke im dildo...

Posted

Ye, that one was no funny =S sorry

 

Ok, a BR one, I hope that you get this :D my translation sux =S

 

So a boy climbed on the bus. In roulette, stumble, he says to the collector:

- If my father was a cat and my mother a cat, I would be a kitten...

boy continue:

- If my father was a dog and my mother a ****(in portuguese, dog male is "cachorro" dog female "cachorra" or "B1tch" in jargon. I would be a puppy ...

he still continue:

- If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, then I would be a steer...

So, the collector nervous, asks to boy:

- What would you if your father was a gay and yor mother a prostitute?

The boy answer:

- So, I would be collector bus...

Posted

Three blondes are walking through the forest, they come upon some tracks.

The first blonde says: "They're deer tracks"

The second blonde says: "They're bear tracks"

The third blonde says: "They're moose tracks"

Then a train hits them... :D

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

 

10. Cats' facial expressions

 

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

 

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

 

7. Fat clothes

 

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

 

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

 

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

 

3. Eyelash curlers

 

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

 

1. OTHER WOMEN

 

 

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