This might sound harsh, but please don't take it offensively.
The following irks me:
The logos are too big
The stroke is too much, 1px could have been okay (with a little lowered opacity) but this is way too much
The text is "bad", it just doesn't look good, it blends in too much, generally speaking such text should always be white without textures or anything else. It must be easily readable and discernable. I would have also chosen another font but that's preference.
The text needs to be much smaller, at least the "the story begins here" in proprtion to the "Ancient World".
The character renders don't fit, they stand out way too much and you clearly see they are a much different style than the rest of the background is, at this point it would probably be better to remove then altogether.
Please don't take this offensively, I take you are still quite new to these things and might not know about such things. Practice is always key, so keep it going :)