DAMN I OWN BITCHES
lol
http://andrew.hedges.name/experiments/random/
http://www.mauvecloud.net/randomchooser.html
They are not 100% what you are asking for but don't except miracles..
What's the fucking reason you are posting it in Spam Topic since you don't want us to spam. That's is just stupid.
And you are not allowed to dekarma us for spamming or double posting in spam topic. For god's sake...