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Posted

-Είχα ένα φίλο που έπαιζε μπάλα στην Εθνική.

-Και;Τι έγινε;

-Τον πάτησε νταλίκα...

vrouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum...mpiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Posted

-Γιατί χαλάς τόσα λεφτά παιδάκι

μου;;;;

-Παίρνω ναρκωτικά ρε μάνα.....

-Ωραία γιατί νόμιζα οτι τα έχεις

μπλέξει με καμία και στα τρώει...

Posted

Ευτυχώς που έρχονται και τα περιστέρια στα μπαλκόνια και βλέπουν μερικές και κανα πουλάκι.!!

Posted

Ρώτησα 100 κοπέλες τι αφρόλουτρο

χρησιμοποιούν ενώ έκαναν μπάνιο...

Οι 99 μου απάντησαν ουρλιάζοντας:

-Πώς μπήκες εδώ μέσα ρε μαλακα;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Posted

Ένας τύπος πηγαίνει κάθε Παρασκευή στην Εθνική Τράπεζα και κάνει κατάθεση 1 έως 2 εκατομμύρια! Μια Παρασκευή τον φωνάζει ο διευθυντής και τον ρωτάει

- Συγνώμη κύριε μου, χωρίς να θέλω να γίνω αδιάκριτος, τι δουλειά κάνετε και έχετε τόσες καταθέσεις;

- A, κύριε διευθυντά μου, να σας πω ευχαρίστως. Βάζω στοιχήματα, χοντρά στοιχήματα και συνήθως τα κερδίζω! Θέλετε να βάλουμε μαζί ένα;

- Τι στοίχημα; ρωτάει ο διευθυντής περίεργος.

- 100,000 ότι θα έρθω τη Δευτέρα το πρωί εδώ και θα χω κόψει τα αρχ***ια μου!

- Πάει! του λέει ο διευθυντής, που δεν πίστευε να φτάσει σε τέτοια ακρότητα. Τη Δευτέρα το πρωί μπαίνει ο τύπος στην τράπεζα και πηγαίνει χαμογελαστός στον διευθυντή.

- Τι έγινε, έχασα ή κέρδισα; τον ρωτάει με σιγουριά ο διευθυντής.

- Bαλε το χέρι σου και πιάσε να δεις μόνος σου, του απαντάει ο άλλος.

Bαζει ο διευθυντής το χέρι του και τα αρχ***ια ήταν στη θέση τους!

- Mα καλά, μόλις έχασες 100,000 και συνεχίζεις να Γέλας;

- Βλέπεις τον φρουρό στην είσοδο που κλαίει; Μπαίνοντας προηγουμένως έβαλα στοίχημα μαζί του 500,000 ότι σε 5 λεπτά ο διευθυντής θα μου πιάνει τα αρχ**ια!

Posted

Παλιο γαμημενε Peter Parker μια αραχνη σε τσιμπησε κι εγινεσ Spiderman, εμενα τοσα γαμημενα κουνουπια με εχουν τσιμπησει και μια υπερδυναμη δεν εχω παρει, μονο ξυνομαι γαμω!!!!

Posted

Σκάει ένας γκασμάς Μυτιληνιός σε ένα μπαρ και κάνει στο DJ.

 

- Φίλε, τι είναι αυτό;

- Ηχείο

- Σιγά μην είναι και η Μυτιλήνη... 

Posted

Μιά πολύ συγκινητική κινέζικη ιστορία:

朣楢琴执执瑩浻牡楧硰执执獧浻牡 楧敬瑦 瀰絸朣杢㑳执獧扻捡杫潲湵潣潬昣 昸昸慢 正牧畯摮椭慭敧敷止瑩札慲楤湥楬 敮牡氬 晥⁴潴敬瑦戠瑯潴牦浯潴捥 捥捥戻捡杫潲湵 浩条眭扥楫楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸 昸攣散 散戻捡杫潲湵浩条洭穯氭湩慥牧摡 敩瑮琨 灯捥捥捥慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧獭氭湩 慥牧摡 敩瑮琨灯捥捥捥慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧 楬敮牡 札慲楤

Ακόμα κλαίω....

Ειδικά όταν είπε: 汦睯攺

Αυτη ειναι ΑΛΗΘΙΝΉ αγαπη ρεεεε..!!!

Posted

Τυπάς σε ανθοπωλείο.

-Μια ανθοδέσμη θα ήθελα.

-Έχετε κάτι συγκεκριμένο στο μυαλό σας;

-Ναι, να γαμήσω.

Posted

Αφήνεις το κινητό για λίγο ξεκλείδωτο στην τσέπη....μόνο πρόταση γάμου δεν έχει στείλει...

 

Posted

Εάν φοβάστε ότι θα παχύνετε, να πίνετε πριν από κάθε γεύμα 100 g τσίπουρο. Το τσίπουρο, όπως έλεγαν και οι παππούδες μας , μειώνει το φόβο

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