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[Top 10 Chuck norris facts]

GrisoM

By GrisoM
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GrisoM Newbie

GrisoM

Posted
Posted

01

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

 

A few more:

1. Chuck Norris invented C++ after roundhouse kicking C - TWICE.

2. Chuck Norris is the Domain controller.

3. Chuck Norris has the IP 0.0.0.0

4. Chuck Norris can ping 256.256.256.256 and get a reply.

5. Chuck Norris can hack into ANY bank with his palmtop.

6. Chuck Norris’ computer boots into Windows XP Pro even though only DOS 6.2 is installed.

7. Chuck Norris’ email address is ChuckNorris. He IS the internet domain.

8. Chuck Norris is mailer-daemon.

9. Chuck Norris is Dr Watson.

10. format c: is the request to have Chuck Norris come roundhouse kick your PC.

11. Chuck Norris has Windows XP on his Apple MAC (Sorry Chuck, that’s already been done!)

12. Chuck Norris never gets the page cannot be displayed error.

13. Machine code is another name for Chuck Norris language.

14. Chuck Norris CPU doesn’t have a fan.

15. Chuck Norris can write DVDs on floppy drive.

16. Chuck Norris invented the internet.

17. Chuck Norris can paste pics in Notepad.

18. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his 14400k modem & thats how we got ADSL.

19. Chuck Norris’s Dot matrix printer prints photos - in colour.

20. Chuck Norris uses Notepad as a database.

21. Chuck Norris’ PC speaker gives him 7.1 DTS surround sound.

22. Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.

23. Chuck Norris can edit PDF files.

24. Chuck Norris rips CDs with his hands.

25. Chuck Norris can download Metallica mp3s using Naspter.

26. Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail.

27. Chuck Norris has an Intel CPU on an AMD motherboard.

28. Chuck Norris can program a MAC with excel macros.

29. Chuck Norris website has never had a hit - Nobody hits Chuck Norris’ website.

 

chucknorris300xe3.jpg

  • 1 month later...
mishkarap Newbie

mishkarap

Posted
Posted

01

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

 

A few more:

1. Chuck Norris invented C++ after roundhouse kicking C - TWICE.

2. Chuck Norris is the Domain controller.

3. Chuck Norris has the IP 0.0.0.0

4. Chuck Norris can ping 256.256.256.256 and get a reply.

5. Chuck Norris can hack into ANY bank with his palmtop.

6. Chuck Norris’ computer boots into Windows XP Pro even though only DOS 6.2 is installed.

7. Chuck Norris’ email address is ChuckNorris. He IS the internet domain.

8. Chuck Norris is mailer-daemon.

9. Chuck Norris is Dr Watson.

10. format c: is the request to have Chuck Norris come roundhouse kick your PC.

11. Chuck Norris has Windows XP on his Apple MAC (Sorry Chuck, that’s already been done!)

12. Chuck Norris never gets the page cannot be displayed error.

13. Machine code is another name for Chuck Norris language.

14. Chuck Norris CPU doesn’t have a fan.

15. Chuck Norris can write DVDs on floppy drive.

16. Chuck Norris invented the internet.

17. Chuck Norris can paste pics in Notepad.

18. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his 14400k modem & thats how we got ADSL.

19. Chuck Norris’s Dot matrix printer prints photos - in colour.

20. Chuck Norris uses Notepad as a database.

21. Chuck Norris’ PC speaker gives him 7.1 DTS surround sound.

22. Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.

23. Chuck Norris can edit PDF files.

24. Chuck Norris rips CDs with his hands.

25. Chuck Norris can download Metallica mp3s using Naspter.

26. Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail.

27. Chuck Norris has an Intel CPU on an AMD motherboard.

28. Chuck Norris can program a MAC with excel macros.

29. Chuck Norris website has never had a hit - Nobody hits Chuck Norris’ website.

 

chucknorris300xe3.jpg

 

i read only 29 :D

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